The Role is Mine to Take

As I find each day draw near

The marker for the new year

I think about you and our time spent

So many mistakes of which I wish to repent

Time tore us apart from one another

Like two kids fighting by their mother

How I wish our paths had not split so far apart

Shattered into different worlds as pain wracked my heart

The day finally came when our paths crossed once more

I found you behind the door of a nearby store

Then and there I felt a smile crawl across my stiffened face

If only you knew you were my saving grace

The dull existence I had lived now seemed less bland

After that one day my life seemed so grand

But as my feelings were realised within my mind

I saw that this life I had fallen for was not so kind

As I felt these feelings well within me

Of a kind I never thought would be

My life had taught me many things through the years

Most had been learnt through a cloud of tears

Never trust, never open your heart to another

The only love you need can come from your mother

But still I ached to be held by you

These feelings I realized to be true

I had opened myself, my heart to you without knowing

I struggled to pretend, to stop these feelings from showing

Convinced that I was not worthy to be by your side

I continued to hide my way of life, continued to hide

I felt that I was not meant to be loved by a man

The examples in life that should have shown me I can

Fell short, they left time and again

Each time, however I felt much less pain

Now it happens, I do not care

But if I think of you not being there

I feel my eyes begin to water and my heart begin to ache

These feelings of mine for you I know are not fake

No one else have I cared for so much that has not been blood

As I heard that you were in love, my tears released as a flood

Part of me was so happy for you

As I cried I had no idea what to do

My world was crumbling down my heart now resting in two

The rare love I feel for you

Was not and never would be felt for me

Once again I had been shown that loved I would never be

I swallowed my pain so that I may be that friend

Nothing would have hurt me more than for that to end

But never can I seem to let myself forget

Even now when I look upon your face

I fight to hide the feelings, not to show a trace

Easier it might be, not to see or talk to you now

But that is not an option that my heart would allow

Being your friend means the world to me

If that was to go, happy I would never be

I wish that these feelings were not mine alone

But these words are not to be carelessly thrown

So never shall they be spoken, so our bond never shatters

I will not bother you with them, your happiness is all that matters